AMERICAN IDOL'S DISCO DISASTER: I wrongly assumed that since it's down to the final four on American Idol that everyone would be on their game, but tonight's show gives a whole new meaning to panic at the disco. Barry Gibb (who's had too much face work and looks like Bert Lahr in make up as the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz) was the mentor and the final four were singing songs he'd written. Each contestant got to sing two songs, and after sitting through this hour, I'd send them all home. One of the worst night of performances ever. Seriously.

Melinda Doolittle - Her first song was "Love You Inside Out" and it was vocally perfect, but it was a boring song choice. The second song, "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart," was listless, and although she brought it at the end, it was too little too late. This may have been Melinda's worst night of the season.

Blake Lewis - If the gods aren't crazy, Mr. Smug will be headed home tomorrow night. He butchered "You Should Be Dancing" with a wobbly falsetto and the beatboxing was unnecessary and self-indulgent. Then he did the obscure "This Is Where I Came In," which Simon correctly stated was a tuneless mess. And he did more beatboxing. Even Randy said it was getting old. I'm sick of the sweater vest, that fly-catcher black hole of a mouth and the my-shit-don't-stink air.

Lakisha Jones - She did a down tempo version of "Staying Alive" and ignored Barry Gibb's advice to sing it in a higher register. She's done this every week. The mentors give her advice, she twirls her neck and then does the opposite. On "Run To Me" she let the backing vocalists do most of the singing in the chorus, then at the end she started screaming the lyrics until her voice cracked. A train wreck night for Kiki. Either she or Blake are going home tomorrow night. It's actually a close call, but I still think Blake was worse.

Jordin Sparks - She did a countrfied version of "To Love Somebody," and it was vocally perfect, but, like Mindy Doo, it was kind of a yawn. The judges said it was the best performance of the evening, but after the dreck that came before who can blame them. The shocker was her atrocious performance of "A Woman In Love." Simon read my mind when he called it a pageant performance -- from the dress to the delivery.

A hot mess of a night. They better not make us sit through an hour result show tomorrow.

Comments

Peter said…
I was looking forward to tonight's BeeGees show. But I agree with you: it was awful, esp. Blake, who was my fave. All of them were so bad! How to choose who gets voted off? I wouldn't be surprised for any of them.
Anonymous said…
You got it all right. This was the worst Idol night of the season. Everyone fucked up. They should do a shock eliminatino tonight and send Jordin home but that wont happen. Bye bye Lakesha or Blake.

GAV
Jennifer said…
Colliin, you have a much stronger stomach than I do. Two songs into it, I turned to the dog and said, "this is toilet," and we switched over to the CW for the Gilmore Girls. They should send all four of them home tonight and bring back Sanjaya. P.S. On GG, Logan dumped Rory after she said she wasn't ready to marry him. Much more interesting than dinosaurs and beatboxers and elderly BeeGees.
BLUE said…
"fool, stop trippin'!" now, immo put some of the blame on AI producers too, and ask: WTF would you have a Barry Gibb night so close to the finale? that was not smart planning in the first place.

and then the contestants went on to murder the hits like J. Anthony Brown. i found myself focusing more on the mundane things about the performance, like ... why don't Blake's pants ever fit right? what experiment was going on with his shirt...sweater...chestcloth?

why can't Melinda wear pants that have a crotch? can she stop with the Broadway pageant protagonist endings? she's boring me to pieces with her one-trick pony moves.

you're right Kiki-Lo-Lo does whatever the f*ck she wants. she and lil' mama should have a smack-off for the most pork chop-looking lip gloss (whatchu know 'bout me? whatchu-whatchu know 'bout me?) and the evolution of her wardrobe (i'll be a fat baby's arse!)??? she has gone from sheets, to curtains, to handkerchiefs to triangular lollypop wrappers (hambone-flavored, mind you) to creme-de-menthe toga gowns. what the hell????!

"lawd, mo' drama!"

disclaimer: i only become my ghettofabulous Ta-taneesha alter ego when i'm provoked. this show provoked me. back to the real world now ... too many deadlines to attend.
jenni said…
I watched last night for the first time in WEEKS. Now I know why I haven't watched! The thing si this-- as far as I can tell, Doo is the best technically, BUT mark my words: She will not be a seller like Underwood or even Ruben. She doesn't have mainstream appeal. Jordon, however, is less technically perfect, but I think she has mor mainstream appeal and will end up selling more records than Doo.
minus five said…
i like jordin's first song. other than that, it was painful. i did, however, like blake's hair tonight. he has great hair. i like it much better with those streaks in it. but he sang worse than ever. i'm with you about lakisha or blake, but my money's on lakisha. even if blake was worse. i'm predicting melinda and jordin as the final two. and jordin to win it all. jordin and blake are the only kids on there who are pop packagable.
Anonymous said…
Collin, Collin, Collin!! Did you post that "up-the-nose" photo of Blair (or whatever his name is) just to make me ill?? LOL 32p
Pris said…
Since I don't watch this, I'll count on you to fill me in:-)

And thanks for the encouraging comment on my blog. I appreciate.
Clare said…
I only got to see Idol tonight so avoided reading your blog before then so I wouldn't get spoiled.

I thought Blake was worse than Lakisha and that he was going to go but I was wrong.

I am assuming the final will be between Melinda and Jordin at the moment.

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