AMERICAN IDOL 7 - FIRST FOUR VOTED OFF: More than 28 million voted over two nights to get rid of two guys and two girls. Of course, they couldn't do this in a painless half-hour, but stretched it to 60 tedious minutes. Bastards. The show began with a cheesy 60s medley from the Top 24. I was embarrassed for them. The guys looked like they were on their way to a mafia funeral, dressed in stiff black suits, some with fedoras. The girls were supposed to be dressed in 60s fashions, but looked like a bunch of skanks from the Jersey shore. Kill the stylist.

Then at about 8:15, Gaycrest called Frodo...errr...Garret Haley to center stage for a "chat" and told him he had been voted off. A few minutes later, Gaycrest called up Kristy Lee Cook and made some small talk about her having the flu, then looked around her and told Amy Davis she'd been voted off. Cold blooded! Of course, we had to be subjected to their shitty songs again. I think Amy Davis sounded worse tonight. Ugh!

The middle of the hour was taken up by premiering Paula Abdul's new video for her "comeback" song Dance Like There's No Tomorrow. I kinda like it, processed vocals and all. It's as good as anything on Brit's album, plus Paula can still dance even when she's on pills. It felt like 1992 all over again when TJ and I went to Paula's concert at Lakewood Amphitheater. Yeah, I'll cop to that.

Gaycrest then called up Amanda Overmyer and Joanne Borgella and hemmed and hawed before telling Joanne she was out. Then Gaycrest called up Chikezie and Ellen DeGeneres...errr...Colton Berry and sent Colton packing. That was kind of a shock, actually. I thought it would be Luke Menard or Jason Yeager, who were both worse than Colton. They kept cutting to Danny Noriega, Ramilie and Alaina sobbing while he was singing Suspicious Minds. What would fags do without their hags? 

Until next Tuesday night, Collin...out!


Justin Evans said…
So True!

As soon as the opening number started, I turned to my wife and almost urped up my dinner. They had the wrong songs and the wrong arrangements. It was one of the worst things I have ever heard. Ever. And I have Herman's Hermits Greatest Hits album.
Anonymous said…
I was so close in my predictions. I got the girls right. I though Luke or Jason would go home. Im not going to watch the results shows anymore I'll just check your blog. That was a painful hour.

You're so right, fags just aren't fags without hags. And vice-versa.

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