AMERICAN IDOL 7 - GIRLS ROUND 2: The Top 10 girls performed tonight on AI, and it was total suckitude. Let's just get right to what everyone's going to be talking about tomorrow: Amanda Overmyer's transformation into the Bride of Frankenstein. Taking a tip from Sanjaya's 2007 playbook, the goth nurse was either wearing a wig from the Elsa Lanchester collection or purposely put white-ish gray streaks all through her massive hair. Put a couple of bolts in her neck and she'd be ready to rumble. Like the guys last night, they all sang songs from the 70s, and there were terrible, TERRIBLE performances. Most of them should go home.
Carly Smithson: Although Randy said she was pitchy (who isn't, according to him?), I thought her cover of Heart's Crazy On You was brilliant. Simon said none of the other girls could touch her vocally and she's the one to beat. I just can't imagine her and David Archuleta as the Top 2. One of them will fall by the wayside at some point.
Syesha Mercado: Obviously afraid she'd be mistaken for a lesbian, Syesha decided to change the classic Me and Mrs. Jones to Me and Mr. Jones. Unforgivable, honey. And your vocal sucked, too. She'll get to stay another week based on her previous performances.
Brooke White: Continuing the night of transformations, Brooke seemed to be channeling both Carly Simon's voice and face on You're So Vain. The judges thought it was fabulous, but they turned a deaf ear to her voice totally going flat in the chorus. It seemed like she was having trouble strumming her guitar and singing at the same time. Not totally horrible, especially in comparison to what came after.
Ramiele Malubay: I just don't get her. She's pretty and has a decent voice, but last week she destroyed Dusty Springfield and this week she chose a one note disco song, Don't Leave Me This Way. She said she changed songs four times before going with disco. Girl, please...get somebody to help you pick better songs or your ass is going home. Her cuteness will save her this week.
Kristy Lee Cook: She saved herself from elimination this week by doing a serviceable cover of Linda Rondstadt's You're No Good, although she could have been a little more angry. In her interview package she said she was a tomboy and my gaydar went off a little, although it's not completely tuned to lesbians. I'll defer to Anne. Sapphic sister on the DL or what?
Amanda Overmyer: She tried not to channel Janis Joplin and in the process butchered Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son. I mean brutalized it. She sounded like a drunk at a karaoke bar. The judges ripped her to shreds. Paula wouldn't even comment on the vocal, but complimented her dancing skills. When Paula can't say anything nice, you know you're in trouble. And Jesus...that hair. It's like something Grace Slick would have done while tripping on acid in 1969. She might as well have done the pony-hawk. I hope that shit washes out before she goes back to her nursing job. I would hate to wake up in the night and have her leaning over my hospital bed.
Alaina Whitaker: A terrible cover of Olivia Newton John's chestnut, Hopelessly Devoted To You. From the ugly blue dress, big jewelry and Farrah hair to the shouty, voice cracking vocals, it wasn't even good enough for a county fair pageant. Simon still thinks she's a "dark horse" in the competition. They shoot horses, don't they?
Alexandrea Lushington: Another bad song choice, this time Chicago's schmaltzy If You Leave Me Now. The arrangement was wrong, she sounded horrible and the judges told her so. She'll probably survive another week because only two can go home and there were so many shitty performances, it's hard to choose.
Kady Malloy: They showed her imitating Brit again and singing opera in the bathroom, then she came out and murdered Heart's Magic Man. She swallowed the verses until some of it was inaudible, screamed the chorus, didn't hit a single note and was behind the music. One word: goodbye.
Asia'h Epperson: Randy and Paula must have been taking a bathroom break while Asia'h's voice was cracking and struggling to stay in tune singing power ballad, All By Myself. Both of them loved it, but Simon rightly said she was silly to choose such a big song. She tried to play the "I've been sick" card, but like last week, walk it off. She'll get to stay by process of eliminating the girls who sucked even worse.
The guys were definitely better. Four more go home tomorrow night. It will be a late post since I'll be reading at the Limp Wrist magazine launch.