American Idol 7 - Dolly Parton Night

Let me start this week's recap by saying I am a big Dolly Parton fan. Somewhere in my parents' attic is a Dolly Parton doll from the 1970s and I have many of her albums and singles on vinyl. 9 to 5 is one of my all time favorite films and I've seen her in concert twice. Yes, I loves me some DP, so there will be no hating on her in this recap. However... the Top 9 contestants singing her songs on American Idol tonight are another story. Let's just put a fork in it right now, because David "Terminator" Archuleta walked off with the show singing one of Dolly's more obscure songs, Smokey Mountain Memories. He even made her cry. The only person who came close to matching it was Carly Smithson and the judges were mixed on her performance.

Brooke White: Oh, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke...I love you, girl. I do. You're my favorite, but you looked like you were on autopilot this evening doing my favorite Dolly song, Jolene. It was a nice arrangement with the band (although Simon thought it was weird) and she played the guitar, but she just had no emotion.

David Cook: Uh-oh! Someone's been reading the blogs. David Cook copped to stealing all his arrangements from other bands for the last three weeks. And...he changed his dreadful comb over. It's still a bed-head from hell, but it looked like he had more hair in front. I'm guessing it's that hair in a can shit from Ron Popeil, or maybe he shaved some of the back and patched it in with some weave glue. His cover of Little Sparrow was actually okay, mainly because he didn't fuck with it too much. He's trying hard to lose the smirk. Good boy.

Ramiele Malubay: Her cover of Do I Ever Cross Your Mind was flat, she sounded out of breath and was trying way to hard to be bouncy. The judges didn't love it (Simon called it forgettable) and she seems like she's lost interest. Time to go, honey.

Jason Castro: Our pretty, pretty lady was playing to the heartland tonight with the "Jesus loves me" vibe of Traveling Through. Simon hilariously said he would be losing his season pass to Dollywood because he didn't get it. Me either.

Carly Smithson: The second best performance of the night. Her vocal was impeccable on an acoustic version of my second favorite Dolly song, Here You Come Again. Simon was on the rag tonight and didn't like the song or her clothes. He keeps saying he likes country music, but he obviously does not. He was just not happy about much of anything tonight.

David Archuleta: His march to victory gained even more momentum tonight. No one even came close.

Kristy Lee Cook: A pageant performance of Coat of Many Colors will probably put her in the bottom with Ramiele. At least it should. She performed barefoot and Gaycrest commented on her French pedicure. That had me doing the Danny Noriega "uh-huh" with two snaps and a neck rotation. He probably has the same pedicure.

Syesha Mercado: I knew she would pick I Will Always Love You? Dolly might have written it, but Whitney owns it. It was a weird chopped up arrangement and although Syesha managed to hit the glory note, she's still no Whitney. Bottom three.

Michael Johns: Probably the third best performance with his bluesy cover It's All Wrong, But It's All Right. Simon said it was his best performance since Hollywood week, which might be true. But you have to ask yourself how he's made it this far? Oh, yeah, he's a piece of ass.

Bottom three prediction: Syesha, Ramiele and Kristy Lee. Tomorrow night Dolly's going to perform and show these whipper-snappers how it's done.


I was so excited about Dolly Parton night. I turned off the tv disappointed.

I agree with the bottom 3. I think it will be Ramiele that goes, although I think barefoot girl needs the boot too...and put on a pair of boots while she's at it.

No one blew me away. The I Will Always Love You cover made me flip over to another station briefly.

I love Dolly... I'm going to post a picture of my bedroom from when I was a teenager to prove my Dolly love.
I think Simon doesn't want Carly to win because he worries she won't sell enough albums since her other record deals tanked. I thought she was GREAT tonight.
Lisa Allender said…
I'll be watching Dolly tonight...I missed the show last night, but except for Archuleta, it sounds like I did not miss much!
RJGibson said…
Ach! Dolly. I wish I'd known that was last night. I'd've watched.

J'adore Dolly. I was obsessed with her show when I was a little kid. I loved when they lowered her on that swing. That and Lynda Carter spinning into WW.

Nope. No signs of early gayness with me, brother.
Anonymous said…
Laughing so hard at ron popeil hair in a can shit. One of my favorite infotrash items he makes is the rotisserie oven. SET it, and forGET it!

(my mom got one, and it squeaks with every revolution. And FYI: it takes like, 400 hours to cook a chicken...squeak squeak squeak.)
bookfraud said…
i'll repress the urge to make dolly parton jokes (the music elitist in me -- then again, i like ted nugent. a ted nugent cover show on ai -- that i would watch).

to echo poetwithadayjob, the ron popeil line is a hoot. (and i got a popeil roto oven for my in-laws -- infernal device!).

you don't really think contestants try to give out "jesus loves me" vibes or such? i just think of that buffoon "singing marine" who put out that "u.s.a. #1 patriot!" vibe to get votes. josh grasin, i think his name was...
Anonymous said…
I just watched it on Tivo and I have to say it was pretty boring for me dawwwg. I love Dolly as much as the next homo but other than Carly and David A. I was pretty much unimpressed. I was trying to imagine David Cook reading your blog and trying to fix his hair a different way.

Dustin said…
I think David A. did the best job. I love Sm. Mt. Memories-- Dolly wrote it for her father many years ago.

I did not like Carly's version of Here You Come Again. I thought it was a bad choice to slow down the song as she did.

If I'm having a sentimental day I might cry when hearing Coat of Many Colors, but last night I cried last night because Kristy Lee didn't do the song justice.

I thought Ramiele could have done better with Do I Ever Cross Your Mind, but I enjoyed how she chose to perform it. (if that makes sense)

I bet she's going to sing something from her new album... maybe "Better Get to Livin'" or "Jesus Gravity" tonight.
Collin said…
I thought Carly did a great job with Here You Come Again. I nearly wore this 45rpm when it came out back in the day and I'm a purist when it comes to Dolly, but I thought this was great.
oldidolfan said…
I thought they all did a pretty good job. Of course I have my favorites, BUT did anyone notice how bad Dolly Parton sounded last night. If she had been a contestant she would have been booted off. I have never heard her sound so bad, out of tune and pitchy - not good. What is wrong with her?
Dustin said…
Carly's voice was fab.... but there are certain songs that shouldn't be slowed down. I think could have only been worse if someone did a slow version of Two Doors Down or Baby I'm Burning.

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