AMERICAN IDOL 7 - HOLLYWOOD PART 1: The 164 contestants selected in auditions finally arrived in Hollywood. Tonight was full of over-emoting superlatives from Ryan Gaycrest. The writers must have been on strike when they were coming up with the script, which described the audition process as the most "historic," "horrific," "dramatic," "shocking" EVER. What a load of old shit. The whole bit about letting the finalists use instruments was a nonstarter, too. They only showed a few people playing keyboards, strumming guitars and one douche playing drums. They let each person sing several songs over three days, which made the show run to a numbing two hours. Frankly, there were too many contestants shown to recap them all. I just don't have the strength. They narrowed it down to 50 people and the final 24 will be revealed tomorrow night. Here's a few highlights.

They really milked Josiah "I live in my car" Leming's (pictured) struggle to bring his singular vision for performing Stand By Me to the stage. The house band got pissed because he couldn't even get through one rehearsal with them and then he was crying in the lobby. So when it finally came to audition, he "dismissed" the band and sang it a cappella -- badly. He kinda showed a bit of his douche side and the faux British accent when he's singing will surely begin to work on my nerves. He made it to the 50 based on his previous auditions, including a great version of Mika's Grace Kelly, but whether he'll make it to the 24 is uncertain. Hopefully, he didn't trade in his car. He might be living in it again after tomorrow.

Asia'h, whose dad was killed in a car accident while she was on her way to audition in Atlanta, did a good job and made it to the 50. She'll probably make the 24. I was also happy to see Carly Smithson, the Irish lass who didn't get to be on the show a couple of years ago because of her visa status, belt a fabulous version of Heart's power ballad, Alone. I hope she makes it. 

Goth/nurse/bringer of spirits Amanda Overmeyer once again channeled Janice Joplin while singing The Doors' Light My Fire. While that 60s, whiskey voice is cool, I'm afraid it's all one note. Every song will sound like Janice, and that just ain't gonna fly. Brooke Helvie -- Miss Florida Blow Job, or whatever title she holds -- revealed her inner screech voice and her pageant girl attitude when the judges told her to take a walk. "I wasn't given a fair chance," she cried and huffed backstage. Tell it to your pageant mama. They also sent home the little Bible-thumping "no sex until marriage" girl, too. Yay!

Let's talk about the boys. We have some cuties who just might make the top 24, including little Danny Noriega. He's got a great voice and some diva attitude hiding just under the surface. He still reminds me of Sanjaya. Better keep an eye on this one. There's also David Archuletta, who's only 17, but has star presence to spare. He was the kid who had a frozen vocal cord, but worked to get his voice back. He even made Ryan Adam's tired old Heaven sound fresh. Michael Jones from Australia is also a hottie and he even pulled off Bohemian Rhapsody without descending in parody. David Hernandez may or may not be a 'mo, he's got a nice voice, but he's cocky and overconfident like Blake from last season. If he makes it, I already know I'm going to hate him.

I'm going to miss most, if not all, of tomorrow night's show because I'll be at Lisa Allender and Judson Mitcham's reading at Callanwolde Fine Arts Center. I'll try to get a quick recap up as soon as I can. I hate that I'm going to miss the reveal show for the top 24, but these things can't be helped. I know, I know...get DVR. You can actually see photos of the 50 they've selected at American

Also, Obama has surged ahead of Clinton in the number of delegates after the primaries tonight in Virginia, Maryland and D.C. So exciting!!!


Lisa Allender said…
Thanks, Collin, for bringing a smile--two, actually, to me...The first was my giggling at your recap; the second--some true joy that you'll be at Callanwolde tommorow night!
I'm SO excited--and of course, deeply honored to get to read alongside the wonderfully talented Judson ("The Sweet Everlasting") Mitcham.
See ya soon!
Justin Evans said…

The only reason I watched was to see that pouty little dance captain entitlement princess be sent home. Yay is right! Get to steppin'!
Anonymous said…
It would be cool if an openly gay boy or girl won the competition. I think Danny is going to be a little bitch. Just you wait.

Clare said…
I haven't managed to watch any of American Idol since the first one as I've been out and they don't seem to rerun it as often as they did last season. I enjoy reading your recaps.

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