MO' BETTER BOYS: The American Idol boys stepped it up a couple of notches tonight after having their asses handed to them last week by the ladies. And while they were better, I still think the girls are going to carve them up again tonight. I think Randy and Paula were feeling sorry for some of the boys, because they were giving praise where it wasn't justified and Paula was dancing like a drunk chicken again. Here's the rundown:

Phil Stacey - Looking more and more like an anorexic Uncle Fester, Phil sang a lackluster version of "Missing You." Randy and Paula loved it; Simon (correctly) said it "unoriginal and not unique."

Jared Cotter - Sang Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." I think he's kinda hot, so I probably would. Simon said he sounded like he was the cabaret singer on the Love Boat. I thought he was good. Paula was so overcome with lust, she couldn't even put a coherent comment together. Oh, wait...

AJ Tabaldo - He showcased a new sound with a song I wasn't very familiar with. I think it's called "Feeling Good." He sounded great, but is still gay as a goose. I've now been told the song was originally done by Nina Simone, who I love, but still didn't recognize it.

Sanjaya Malakar(pictured) - A total disaster. He was wearing some pimp outfit with his hair under a big gray hat. His version of "Stepping Out" was like something from a bad high school musical. His jealous sister must be using a voodoo doll on his ass. He should go home Thursday night.

Chris Sligh - Looking more like Jack Osbourne than ever (and the hair was so weird he was verging on chunky Princess Leia), we found out he was married. Say which? He has a good voice and sang "Trouble" well, but he annoys the fuck out of me. He ain't going home anytime soon.

Nick Pedro - Somebody check his pulse. His mannered version of "Fever" was such a snooze and the arrangement was all over the place. Simon was snapping his fingers, but said Nick lacked charisma. Amen. Wardrobe choice was weird, too. He looked like a door-to-door salesman. So not hot.

Blake Lewis - Once again, I think he gave the best performance of the night, performing "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. He threw in some scatting and scratching. Simon said he sounded too much like Jay Kay, but Paula was on her feet. He's definitely safe, but I'd like to vote off that unfortunate hat he was sporting.

Brandon Rogers - A coma-inducing version of "Time After Time," dedicated to his grandmother (boo-fucking-hoo). He sounded like the backing singer he is. Might be going home with Sanjaya on Thursday.

Chris Richardson - The judges were falling all over themselves to praise his version of "Geek In the Pink," but I couldn't even understand the lyrics in the first half. He's cute, so he'll stay. He also dedicated this to his grandma, which was just creepy.

Sundance Head - He sang a passable version of tired old "Mustang Sally," and Randy was hysterically happy. I thought it was karaoke and he was lumbering around the stage like an idiot. Still don't like him. He needs to go home, but he won't this week.

Bring on the girls!!!


jenni said…
Awesome! I totally agree. Sanjaya and Brandon SHOULD go home but never know. And yeah, Chris was sounding like Stevie Nicks up there --I was like "What's he sayin?"
Mary G said…
"Feeling Good" is an old Nina Simone song. I like the Nina Simone version better.
Jennifer said…
Hi, Collin! This is a great update! I am haivng a vilely busy week at school, so I've been slack about my own postings. Who sang "Trouble" the first time around? I was so sad to see Sanjay make such a blithering fool out of himself, or "hisself," as Jesse Jackson likes to say.

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