American Idol 7 - Chikezie Come, Chikezie Go

Before future Love Boat lounge singer Chikezie "Jacuzzi" Eze was given his walking papers, there was -- as Ricky Ricardo used to say -- a lot of splain'in to do. First, David Archuleta made it clear twice that he had picked that song no one had ever heard of and it was one of his favorites. Uh-huh. I'm not buying it, munchkin. Then, Gaycrest announced loud and clear that David Cook's arrangement of Billie Jean was not his own, but that of Chris Cornell. Blogger pal Lisa said in the comments in the previous post that Gaycrest said this last night before Cook sang, but I didn't hear it. The web has been on fire all day about Cook using Cornell's version without enough credit, Archuleta's dad bullying him into You're The Voice and whether or not Carly is pregnant. She's not, but was wearing Spanx last night, which might have affected her performance. Spanx are those pantyhose the ladies wear to help them hold in their guts and thighs. A little too much information for me.

The bottom three was a bit of a shock. I knew Jacuzzi would be there, but Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro? Wha-wha-what?! I figured Carly would be there, but survive, and it would be a dead heat for the bus home between Chiky and Ramiele Malubay. I think the judges constant picking on her is causing a pity effect with voters at home. I mean, seriously, who is voting for this little no-talent? She's an emotionless drone.

Before Chikiboomboom got the heave-ho, there was the stupid Ford commercial, the call in Q&A and Kimberley Locke from season two singing her pretty, yet pedestrian new single. She's also lost 40 pounds (thanks to an appearance on VH-1's Celebrity Fit Club) and runs a restaurant "outside of Manhattan." Which is where exactly? Jersey? There was also plenty of pimping for Apple, iTunes and MacBook Air. I really can't say much here since I'm part of the Apple cult now. All hail Steve Jobs...may I kiss your ring, sir? The group sing was weird, but tuneful. The girls sang Right Back Where We Started From, while the guys did nearly non-existent back up and danced around like a bunch of clowns. I wonder if Paula is doing the choreography? I'm just sayin...

Next week Dolly Parton "mentors" the Top 9. I can already sense a train wreck.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I got it right! I figured it would be him. Not so surprised abut stoner boy Castro being in the bottom three. He sucked. And his hair is grossing me out. Sorry all you dreadlock people.

GAV
Diane Lockward said…
I also thought it would be Chikezie but was hoping I'd be wrong. He tried something new each week--didn't always work, but I liked that he was a risk-taker. Jason sounds the same every week. It would have been fun to see what else Chikezie would bring to the show. Plus, I just liked him. Not loving Brooke the way other people are, a bit too much sameness there too. And have to say I'm liking David Cook more each week. With Amanda gone, he's the only real rocker there.
bookfraud said…
good post, funny headline. you seem to have a knack for calling out bogus facts or details on "ai." have you ever worked as a fact checker or copy editor? just wondering. you'd probably be pretty good at it.

i haven't been following "ai" closely this year, but the thought of anyone singing "9-to-5" sends shivers down my spine.

also, have you thought of doing these recaps for "the hills"? or "top chef"? or "monday night football"?
Collin said…
BF, my day job is working as a managing editor at a local magazine.

As for other recaps, I don't know if I want to commit or eat up more space on the blog with reviewing another show every week. Doing AI every week for five months is plenty. lol
KATE EVANS said…
Can't you just hear David Cook's emo rock version of "Islands in the Stream"? Maybe he and Kristy Lee can get down with their funky selves as a duet.
Pamela said…
I surely hope no one ruins "Jolene."
Dustin said…
I've seen two partials of IDOL this season; however, I will be watching in full the episode with Dolly. Hopefully, I won't have to bitch slap too many of the top 9 for screwing up Dolly's handy work.

I pray to God no one sings "I'll Always Love You."

CK, I hope you're not going to hate on Dolly. She's fab.
Collin said…
Someone will definitely butcher Jolene. Probably Kristy Lee. Ugh!

Dustin, I love Dolly, so I won't hate on her. I hope she's not too nice to tell this bunch of no-talents they are fucking up her songs and get it right or she'll bitch slap them with her giant ta tas.

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