AMERICAN IDOL 7 - TOP 8 BOYS PERFORM: With only eight boys left, American Idol was cut to a merciful hour this evening as the guys took the stage to perform songs from the 80s. Not a word was spoken about David Hernandez's stripper past or Danny Noriega's bizarre MySpace videos (see the previous post), so as Miss Gaycrest said at the top of the show, let's get to it.

Luke Menard: He should have gone home two weeks ago, and I'm hoping that covering Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go will be his ticket home on Thursday night. It was like cruise ship karaoke -- the kind of ship that's had a Norwalk virus outbreak. In other words, barf!

David Archuleta: The unstoppable munchkin sang Phil Collins' Another Day In Paradise, and the judges decided to take him down a peg, although it was really unnecessary. He started off at the piano, the arrangement was modern and it's a song about homelessness. How can you fault it? Randy said he was pitchy in a couple of places and Simon said his song choices were becoming gloomy. Paula said she was glad to hear pitch problems because it proved he was human. Terminator's can pretend like they're human. Damn it, is no one watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles but me? Nevertheless, he's going to be in the Top 3 for sure. I'm not ready to put him in the Top 2. Remember Melinda Doolittle last year? 

Danny Noriega: Miss Danny looked like he was in a huff all evening and things got worse after his take on Tainted Love. He came strutting out, shaking his hips and tossing that Jessica Alba hair. It could have been a total Sanjaya moment, but this boy can sing. Simon said it was a "useless" performance and Danny did the brush-the-dirt-off-his-shoulder move and snapped "whatever." Paula was halfway to pill nirvana tonight, by the way. She ate up screen time talking about Danny's purple highlights. Funniest part of the bit: when Miss Gaycrest said he hadn't noticed the highlights until Paula mentioned them, and Danny rotated his neck and went "hmmm-mmm." He should get through to the Top 12 for that alone, but I fear he's in trouble this week.

David Hernandez: He has a big voice and it perfectly suited Meatloaf's It's All Coming Back to Me Now. All the judges liked it, so he's going through to the Top 12 despite his stripper past. The Idol producers said late today he wouldn't be disqualified from the show. 

Michael Johns: He chose Simple Minds' Don't You (Forget About Me) and it was good, but all over the place. He never seems to actually finish a note. He was lunging around the stage trying to be a rocker, but it just doesn't quite work. The judges overpraised his performance, although Simon said he still hadn't had his "it" moment. The girls love him, so he's in the Top 12 for sure.

David Cook: I still hate him and his shit-eating grin, but taking Lionel Richie's schmaltzy ballad, Hello, and turning it into an emo rock song was a stroke of brilliance. The judges were practically giving him a hand job they loved it so much. Simon told some story about running into Lionel Richie at Whole Foods on Sunday and how he thought Mr. Dancing on the Ceiling would love the cover. Whatever, Simon.

Jason Castro: It was just like being at Lilith Fair when Jason started singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. The judges loved it and Simon thought it was "brilliant." Say which? Were they listening at all? How about when his voice cracked on the last note? I thought it was a bore. Only Cohen and Jeff Buckley have ever done this song justice. I think he's safe.

Chikezie: He covered Luther Vandross' All The Woman I Need (although Luther never needed one - wink, wink). I thought it was okay, and the judges were mixed. Simon called it a cabaret performance, but it was better than that. Not sure if he's safe. He could be the wild card going home.

Luke Menard is outta there for sure, and I'm pretty certain Danny Noriega is finished as well. Jason Castro and Chikezie getting ousted could be the shocker. The girls sing tomorrow night, and then Thursday four more go home and we'll have the final 12. 


Anne said…
I'm totally voting for Danny just 'cause I want you to keep blogging about him. ;) Also the "mm-hmmmm" made me nearly pee my pants laughing.
Collin said…
I voted for him three times. He really does need to stay a couple more weeks. Send him Luke and Goldielocks Castro.
Anonymous said…
The boys seemed like they were trying to be better last night but when I think back about the show all I can remember is David A. and Danny.Thats pretty sad.

bookfraud said…
collin, you have to stop posting these recaps because i'm at work, and i really need this job so i can't keep reading them.

the "lilith fair" reference is brilliant, by the way.
jenni said…
I love Danny, I hope he stays! Dick's Cabaret--classic!!
Lisa Allender said…
I did not realize until two days ago, the cutie-has-a-stripper-past(I musta missed one of your posts(!)). I don't think it should count him out(it's in the past--anyone can be an "American Idol", etc.)so I'm glad the AI folks are cool with it....
Once again, you're dead-on with your observations, Coll. And hilarious!
Hey, what the hell's wrong with sounding like the Lilith Fair?! Jason is such a cute lesbian. I love him.

I do think there are no terrible singers this time (except Luke)... but the only ones who stand out with having had great singning MOMENTS so far are David the Terminator (every week), David Cook (tonight) and David Hernandex (last week).

Oh, and Danny has a snapping-queen-hair moment every week. I just want to kiss his cute little cheeks.
Anonymous said…
I am going to say Luke and Chekezie are going home. Chekezie will be the upset. Bring on those shitty girls.

Karen J. Weyant said…
I am watching the Sarah Connor Chronicles...what did you think of the last show of the season?
Collin said…
Yay, Karen! I thought it was a great season finale, but I'm worried we'll never see it again. It's an expensive show and the ratings were middling. If they don't renew, they should at least do a two-hour movie to wrap it up and pave the way for the next Terminator film. I thought this show was going to suck so hard, but I really love it, esp. Lena Heady and Summer Glau.
Anonymous said…
First i want to thank you for all the wonderful articles you post. Thanks again for let us spread the love we have for our’s favorites one. Melinda Doolittle are really a talented singer with a big heart of Gold! Without website will be really difficult for the fans to share the great news about them. Thanks.
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