American Idol 8 - Hollywood Part 2

I'm going to be honest and tell you that I didn't even recognize half the people singing tonight as the Hollywood elimination round continued. As Miss Seacrest informed us at the top of the hour, this would be "the tragedy of group sing. There's always been drama, but NEVER.LIKE.THIS." There was plenty of melodrama and hyperbole being flung around, but the producers decided that rather than show us the 100 remaining contestants, they would focus on three or four groups that all hated each other. 

Most of the hour seemed to focus on Bikini Girl and her attempt to sabotage her group, which included Rose "My Parents are Dead" Flack, Jasmine Murray and another girl whose name I can't remember. Bikini Girl left rehearsal early and went to bed, then the next morning told Rose and Co. she was sick and dropping out. That is until roll call began for the contestants and she miraculously appeared, dressed to the nines and being a straight-up bitch. When it finally got to the auditions, it was an absolute train wreck and only Jasmine made it through. Bikini Girl walked off stage, ignored the other girls, and made kissy-faces at the camera. Judge Kara DioGuardio called Bikini Girl the c-word (the one that rhymes with punt) as she walked out of the auditorium. Welllll...

Then there was gay, pierced Nathaniel, Kristin and Nancy (who called themselves Team Compromise -- ugh!), who fought endlessly. Nathaniel cried and minced around like a big girl talking about his DREAMS, while Nancy accused Kristin of not wanting it enough. At the performance, they butchered Duffy's "Mercy," and, shockingly, it was Nancy that got cut. She told Kristin to fuck off as she left the auditorium. Wellllllll...

Then there was that crazy, hyena Tatianna Del Toro who wasn't happy with her group, tried to join Team Compromise, then went back to her original group. The self-centered bitch and her group somehow made it through, but if she makes it to the Top 36, I may have to boycott. She cried and whined about how hard she worked to make it, blah, blah, blah. She's a second-rate Selena wannabe. 

There were tiny snippets of the good people shown, but I can't even work up the strength to write about them. The standout of the night was the group with Danny Goeky and his buddy Jamar, who totally nailed an a cappella version of Queen's "Somebody to Love." One guy who got cut, said Paula Abdul had manipulated the outcome, called her pure evil and they cut to an image of Miss Pill's with gleaming red, Amityville Horror eyes. Nah, the producers aren't trying to drive her crazy. Okay, crazier than she already is.

At the end, 75 had made it through, which means more Hollywood next week as the judges whittle it down to the Top 36 and the real competition -- finally! -- begins.


Lisa Allender said…
Absolutely unreal! I cannot get over the fact that Nancy got cut. She seemed to believe she would not get to go on through to the next round, but I thought her singing was every bit as good as the rest of their group, if not better.
Really tired of Ms. Bikini-Girl-Attitude(she's really cute, but I guess it's true the ol' "Pretty is as Pretty does....")sigh.
Thanks for your clever recap.
Anonymous said…
I've never wanted to kill someone so much after watching Tatianna. Send that crazy bitch home!

Glad I missed it. Your write up is hilarious.

So are your comments about Cheney. The Dick.
palais said…
Collin, please tell me you haven't seen the spoiler list, because you will not be happy who is on it ( I'm not. Not one bit.)

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