Organizing your writing life

NOTES ON A SCANDAL: I thought it was ironic that I went with my friend Joy to see the excellent film Notes on a Scandal, then received a rejection letter for Conquering Venus taking me to task for including similar themes all in the same weekend. I won't reveal the name of the publisher, but needless to say it's a bunch of tight-asses who were scared of the content. I will say that the press in question is well-known for publishing novels by gay and lesbian authors. Who knew the queer presses were becoming so conservative?

The letter began with flowering praise about my writing skills, how well-drawn the characters were, how I had superbly re-created London and Paris circa 1995. Then it said the "committee" had found some of the content objectionable. The editor said this committee was made up of "teachers," which made me laugh. They didn't like the supernatural and unexplained parts of the story. The fact that Martin and Irenne -- the young gay man from America and the 60-something Parisian woman -- had the same tattoo and shared similar visionary dreams was just "too unbelievable."

But what the letter spent the most time on was chiding me for having a main character -- the high school teacher Diane -- look the other way when Martin begins an affair with one of her students. They also objected to the way the teacher "allowed" the students in her charge on the trip to Europe to party and sneak out of the hotel. I'm not sure what planet these teachers are on, but most of the school trips I remember taking were non-stop parties. In Europe, where the legal age is 16 for sex and 18 for everything else, there's very little that can be done. Trust me. I know for a fact.

What I found hilarious about the letter was that it seemed to be addressed not to me, but to the character of Diane, and for her horrible choices and shortcomings as a teacher. How dare she allow the relationship, the partying, the abject neglect of those in her charge! I've never received a rejection letter quite like it before. Sure, when I had the agent in New York a few years ago, one editor raised objections to the relationship between Martin (who's 22 in the novel, and the student is 18), but back then most of the rejections were hysterical overreactions to the terrorist aspect of the story.

Rather than write a nasty note back, I simply sent a thank you letter and said I was thinking of turning it into a memoir, "because truth is stranger than fiction." At this writing, the publisher has not responded.

Oh, and I highly recommend the film. Dame Judi Dench is totally out of her mind as the repressed lesbian school marm who has the hots for fellow teacher Cate Blanchett, who she discovers is having an illicit affair with a 15-year-old boy. The script is wickedly funny, despite the dramatic themes, and Dench's performance is really Helen Mirren's only competition.