HOW DRY(ERLESS) I AM: For a minute or two last night, I thought I was being secretly filmed by a reality tv show...maybe like that one from MTV called Boiling Point where they would do something to really piss a person off and clock how long the unwitting contestant could keep their cool.

I had washed a load of whites in my brand spanking new washing machine and then transferred them into my dryer. I had been back at my desk for about 15 minutes when I heard this sound from the laundry room that made me jump out of my chair. I thought the ceiling had caved in. I ran to the laundry room and found a wisp of smoke coming from the dryer, which was still running, but the drum inside was not turning. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, less than a week after my washer died, my dryer decided it was time to check out, too. Maybe it missed the old washer. They had been together for many years.

Okay, so the dryer was ancient. My dad said Carter was probably still president when it was new and my friend Brent had called it a fire hazard when he was helping me move it to the new apartment last year. It does have fake wood veneer around the knobs. It's also rusted, dented and looks like general crap, but man it could dry a load of laundry in no time. I mean burn it to a crisp. That's a real photo of my old dryer. Goodbye, old friend. I spent another night traipsing back and forth to the apartment complex laundry room and contemplating what I could sell on eBay to fund yet another major appliance purchase. Sigh. And there's still the question of the new laptop. Double sigh.

On the upside a lit mag I've long admired indicated they might publish two or more of my poems in 2008, and another publisher asked to read the Wake manuscript. I'm not at liberty to give names at this point, but I am grateful and excited. I need all the good vibes I can get right now.


Lisa Allender said…
Collin, I am SO sorry for all the washer-- and geez-- now dryer problems.
I loved your take on the dryer shutting down "Maybe it missed the washer, they'd been together..."
Really adorable post, Collin!
But you're due a LOT of good things soon.
Congrats on the good vibes towards your poetry--I'm certain you''ll be rewarded soon!
Anonymous said…
Damn. Who's karma cornflakes did you piss in? Play the lottery.

RJGibson said…
Oy god! That sucks. Hard. With teeth.

How long until you can announce all the deets of your good poetry news?

BTW--you got hosed in the caption throwdown.
Justin Evans said…

You are not alone in the Technology Karma department. I have life time season tickets to the seat just behind you to the left. I bet we could trade some amazing stories.

Also, welcome to the outs for the caption contest. Mine received a total of three votes, but at least you made it to the exclusive round.

Things always go in cycles, and we're both due for some big ups here in the neext week or two.
Radish King said…
Oh for crap sake I have to go to the laundr-O-mat.

Haha. Not really. I make my son go do it.

I'd rather have a dryer reject me and a lit mag accept me than the other way around!
congrats and condolences in the same sentence: Yeay acceptances, boo dead dryers.
Dustin said…
Damn, that sucks about the dryer.

Yay for the publication prospects!
Brent Goodman said…
Congrats on the publication momentum - aiming good vibes your way!
Anonymous said…
Oh Gawd! That's horrible. What a story. This happened to us a few years ago. Then we got front-loaders -- which I can only imagine will be a bigger watery mess when it (and you know eventually it will) break.
As I recall when the washer installer came in and saw our Harvest Gold Whirlpool he sort of let out a low whistle and something like, "Boy, I haven't seen one of these old babies in years."
Anonymous said…
Our drier died recently, too. Fortunately, it's been a dry winter in California -- so we've been using the good-old-fashioned clothes line.
LKD said…
Appliances (and cars) are like the people in my life that I most love:

I want and fully expect them to live forever.

When they don't, I feel like I'm nine years old again, discovering that alas, Santa Claus is merely an elaborative, parental lie.
ButtonHole said…
Sounds like you've got your share of sympathy in hard times. What I wanna know is, dude, what's that green shit all over the dryer? I think it might be part of the problem. I'm just sayin.
Collin said…
There's nothing green, it's just a weird glare from my cheap digital camera. Now the spots on the side are rust. I'll cop to that.

Popular Posts