Stank and Whistle

The new James Bond flick, Quantum of Solace, is amazing. The producers decided that 007 needed to be less of a tux-wearing, gadget-loving, martini-shaking dandy and more of an ass-kicking action hero, and Quantum provides that in spades. The movie is non-stop from the opening car chase to the various fight sequences that give Bond the chance for some actual hand-to-hand combat. And it looks like it hurt... a lot. I kept trying to imagine Roger Moore being attacked with an axe in a burning building, and I pictured him having a stroke. This Bond doesn't rely on gadgets, but good driving skills, expert aim and the ability to take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Judi Dench steals every scene she's in as MI6 director M. Think back for a moment and see if you can remember any of the actors who've played M in the other Bond movies? Go on. I'm waiting. Me either. But you will always remember Dench. 

So the "stank" mentioned in this post's title comes from my fellow moviegoers. BFF Joy came up for dinner and after feeding our faces at The Colonnade (turkey and dressing, fresh green beans, buttered yeast rolls....swoon), we decided a little action movie would help our digestion and looking at Mr. Craig's fine frame wouldn't hurt either. It was a packed house, and right before the previews started this man and woman sat down in front of us. She was wearing some kind of perfume that smelled like a cross between Pine Sol and floor stripper. It scorched my nose hairs. Joy said she could detect BO under the heavy fragrance, but Joy has a more finely-tuned sniffer than me. I just wanted to grab the woman and use her to scrub my toilet bowl.

Behind us was a group of thirtysomething men who seemed like they were having a guys' night out. They weren't particularly disruptive, but at some point during the movie I became distinctly aware that the guy sitting behind me had a breathing problem, namely he was whistling through his nose every time he exhaled. I have to be honest, for a second I thought it was me. Okay, more than a second. I held my breath and pinched my nose shut just to make sure. Maybe it was because I was so tuned into the whistling noise, but it seemed to get louder and louder. He could have summoned the hounds with this whistle. After the movie, Joy said she also held her breath to make sure she wasn't the wheezer. 

The smells and sounds in a movie theater these days are exactly why I love Netflix and On Demand. The only stank and whistle I want going on during a movie are my own, thank you very much. That said, we saw the trailer for Baz Lurhman's Australia (helloooo, Hugh Jackman) and we're definitely going to see that next week.

The rest of the weekend was spent clearing my desk of some freelance and editing work before the holidays. I'm off from the day job from Wednesday until Monday, and I plan to do a lot of reading and writing during that time. Today, we had an Atlanta Queer Literary Festival board meeting and started making our list of potential features for 2009. I can't say who they are yet, but we have high hopes.

Also, take note of my new email address: collinkelley@gmail.com. I've finally made the switch.