American Idol 8 - Second 12

The second set of 12 performed tonight, and the show got off to such a horrible start it seemed like two hours of epic fail. It picked up toward the end, but good performances were few and far between. Once again, the contestants could pick any song from the Billboard Hot 100, but they chose badly and I do mean sucky. So, who's going through? My guess is Adam Lambert (pictured), Allison Iraheta and Megan Cockrey. Kris Allen is the upset. Read on.

Jasmine Murray: She might have survived group sing with Bikini Girl, but she took herself out of the competition tonight by performing a flat, uninspired version of Sara Bareilles' "Love Song." It's a peppy tune and she tried to slow it down and give it some R&B vibe and totally killed it. When the judges told her it wasn't good, she disagreed. See ya, Jasmine.

Matt Giraud: I barely remember him from auditions and Hollywood week, and that's a good thing because he should be going home after butchering Coldplay's "Viva la Vida." He was breathless, his voice cracked and I don't think he hit a single note. I guess it's back to being a "dueling piano player," or whatever he does. Six Flags is probably hiring for the summer. 

Janine Vailes: Another unknown, who totally blew it. She sang Maroon 5's "This Love" and it was a strained, horrible mess. But, hey, she's got great legs and knows how to work some coochie cutters and fuck me heels. I'm sure she'll get bigger tips when she goes back to her career as a bartender.

 

Nick Mitchell: He decided to perform as his character Normund Gentle and sang a camp, histrionic version of "I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." He crawled around the stage bleating like a sheep, rubbing up against the judges' table and changing the words around asking not be sent home. This shit was funny the first two or three times, but the thrill is gone. And so is he. 

Allison Iraheta: She got minimal screen time in the audition rounds, but she came out swinging, totally rocking Heart's "Alone." Only 16, but sounds older and can really belt it. As Simon said, the competition started with her tonight.

Kris Allen: He's adorable. Let's just get that out of the way. He unwisely picked "Man In the Mirror," and started rough, but he got better. Paula and Randy liked him (Kara did not) and even Simon said he had some appeal. The boys and girls will definitely dig him. If my marriage to Adam Lambert doesn't work out, I'll keep Kris in mind. 

Megan Corkrey: She looks like a cheerleader, then you see the giant sleeve tattoo on her right arm and you have to do a double-take. She has an interesting voice that sorta reminds me of the new wave of British singers like Adele and Duffy. She chose "Put Your Records On," which was smart. She might just make it through.

Matt Breitzeke: The tragedy is that he can actually sing, but his version of "If You Could Only See" by Tonic was a total flatline. He's also not attractive and would be hard to market in the pop world, which seems to be very important to the judges this year. Kara has brought it up over and over. Maybe he'll get the blue collar vote like Michael Sarver last week. Although I hope not.

Jesse Langseth: Her voice reminds me of Chloe Lattanzi, Olivia Newton-John's loopy daughter who performed on the MTV train wreck supreme, Rock the Cradle. That's not really a compliment, though. She did a loungey version of "Bette Davis Eyes," and while it wasn't horrible, it wasn't good either. 

Kai Kalama: Choosing "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" did him no favors. He has an okay voice, but it's just forgettable. Simon said he'd make a good back-up singer. Meh. Wedding singer is more like it. Bye-bye, Kai.

Mishavonna Henson: Another terrible song choice by someone who can actually sing. She did "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and technically it was fine, but like Simon, it left me cold. In my notes I said she sounded good, but it was a personality dead zone the entire time she was on stage.

Adam Lambert: Sooooo incredibly hot, but I have to agree with Simon that his performance was both brilliant and horrific. He's been doing musical theatre for 17 years, so he's got stagecraft down to a science. He did a glam version of "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones, and it was a wee bit too cocky. I could easily see him performing in Vegas for the rest of his life if he doesn't pull the reins back a bit. However, his pretty emo boy looks and the comparisons to the vampire guy in Twilight are sure to get the tweens (and queens) dialing.