American Idol 9 - Chicago Auditions

The Chicago auditions for the ninth season of “American Idol” opened with an expletive-laced montage of rejects encouraging the competition to go fuck itself. Not a promising start.

Also not promising: Shania Twain (top photo) as tonight’s celebrity guest judge. Like many a ‘mo, I shook a tail feather to “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” and “That Don’t Impress Me Much,” back in 1999. That was her heyday.

She hasn’t had a hit since 2003, but a new album must be in the pipeline. Like the previous guest judges, Shania had nothing to add, but she did admit to peeing on herself during an audition. That’s sure to excite some of you.

Dramarama: First through to Hollywood was Katelyn Epperly, whose parents were going through a messy divorce, and she was auditioning to make her mom feel better. Her cover of Duffy’s “Syrup and Honey” was reed thin, but they put her through.

Angela Martin had auditioned twice before and made it to the top 50 last season, but a sick daughter, dead feather and pesky warrants for her arrest derailed her. Third time’s a charm, obviously, because they put her through. Hope she’s paid her fines.

Read the rest of the recap at Project Q Atlanta!