American Idol 9 - Los Angeles Auditions
The “American Idol” audition train pulled into Los Angeles tonight with not one, but two celebrity judges: gospel singer turned lesbian tourist, Katy Perry, and country singer turned skater boy masturbation fantasy, Avril Lavigne.More than10,000 showed up at the Rose Bowl to audition, and after some obligatory flirting between Simon and Miss Seacrest, we got our first look at Avril, wearing her hoodie with horns and flipping her extensions like an emo princess. After checking Wikipedia, I see that Avril is Canadian. Why does she sound like an obnoxious Valley girl?
No reality: Neil Goldstein – looking like my lesbian aunt circa 1982 – said he was geeky, vulnerable, passionate and needed to let it all out. “Like, oh my god. He’s sweating like a maniac,” Avril said, sealing Neil’s fate. He tried to be butch for a minute, refusing to leave, but then Simon threatened to have security escort him out.
Doing it for Jesus: Pastor Jim Ranger sang an original song and had a decent country/rock voice, but Avril just sneered and said his wife and three kids would hold him back. She twisted her plastic bracelets and said no, but she was overruled by the other judges and put through to Hollywood.
Kung fu pacifist: Damien Lafavor is an avowed martial arts fan, and after some embarrassing scenes of him having a seizure on a rooftop, he flubbed the lines of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” and sent himself home. Sorry, grasshopper.
Comments